What happens in Paris stays in Paris?
by litchfieldinmate
Summary: What if Piper had never exactly left Alex in Paris? How would they deal with their most surfacing feelings - anger, resentment, love? Would they ever get in trouble for the crimes they committed? (Vauseman AU) I don't own anything. Characters belong to Piper Kerman, Jenji Kohan, and Orange Is The New Black.
1. What if

PARIS, 2005

Alex couldn't believe what had just happened before her eyes.

She left. She just _left_. Her girlfriend of two years had just walked out of their hotel room in Paris, never to come back again, on what was already the worst day of her life.

Her mom had just died. Wouldn't you stay for someone you genuinely cared about?

Well, Piper didn't. And fuck her for that.

"Pull yourself together", she told herself, figuring out that it couldn't be done without a drink. She picked up the intercom and ordered a whisky.

As she waited for room service, she prepared a bath. Just as she finished, she heard the door knocks. She opened it up, let service in and tipped the waitress, who was looking at her with a pitty face.

Just as she was leaving the room, she stopped by the door: "I don't mean to be nosy, Mademoiselle Vause, but is everything alright? Do you need a medicine?"

"No, I'm good, thank you. I'll let you know if I need anything else".

When she left, Alex went back to the bathroom, her drink in hand, and looked in the mirror. She couldn't believe how swollen her face was from her crying. It looked like she had been crying non-stop for years. And her skin looked has never looked more pale. She didn't look at all like the porcelain doll Piper used to say she was. She looked much more like fucking Casper the Friendly Ghost. Just not nearly as friendly.

"Fuck you, Piper. Even the hotel waitress cares about my-well being.", she mumbled, staring at the ivory-skinned brunette's face in the mirror.

She was a mess.

Shaking off her thoughts about ghosts, she drank the whisky as fast as she was able to, looking at the hot bath waiting for her. God, if she could just doze out for some time. Forget everything that was happening. It was the heaviest load she ever had to carry, and she was not sure she was able to.

Taken by an impulse, she ran back to the bedroom and opened a drawer of the bedside table.

They had sleeping pills. Piper didn't take them, they were still there.

What if...

Well, it's not like anybody would care anyway. Nobody really does anymore...

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She couldn't stop thinking about what she had just done.

She had just _left_ the love of her life. Whose mother had just died. Which made her a real bitch.

On the other hand, Alex was ruining her life, bit by bit. Their lives. How much longer would she live like a criminal? Piper knew the answer to that. Her (now ex) girlfriend would never leave the drugdealing business – not even for her.

It couldn't be a worse moment for her to remember – her mother's pearl necklace. Shit. She knew it wasn't inside her suitcase. She had forgotten to take it from the safe. It was her only item left there.

"Shit."

Could she ask Alex to bring it with her to NY? She knew the answer to that question before it even finished crossing her mind. Shit.

"Uh... Monsieur Bréssant? Sorry, we have to come back to the hotel. I left something valuable behind."

The cab driver nodded and took the way back.

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15 minutes later, she was back at the hotel elevator.

"Fuck. Come on, I can't miss that flight..." She mumbled.

She stopped by their door, hoping Alex was nowhere to be seen. Maybe at the bar, at a café or taking a shower. She knew it seemed selfish of her, but it would be just too hard to look at her face and leave again.

As she opened the door, there was no sign of the brunette. The bathroom door was closed, but there was no noise. She called for Alex, but there was no answer. So Piper just figured she had gone out and felt grateful for it would make things less difficult.

Which drawer was it again? She wasn't sure. She went to her bedside table, looking for the safe key. She opened up the first one, it wasn't there. She found it on the second drawer and picked it up. She hurried to the safe, opened the door to it with the key and then typed the combination of numbers to open the safe itself.

There it was, right there. Now off to America. She quickly took it, closed the safe again, and ran back to her bedside to place the key back when she took notice of something she hadn't seen when she came in a hurry.

Their bottle of sleeping pills was lying on the floor next to their bedside table, empty.

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**Hey, everyone. I'm new to this. I've been reading some fics for a few days now and came out with some ideas and figured out exposing them would be a good way to enhance my vocabulary in English, since I have to go to the dictionary and look for the words I don't know (I'm Brazilian). And it's also fun! Feel free to correct any mistakes in your reviews. Also I'm kind of sleepy now so yeah, I might have missed a few details. I hope you enjoy this first chapter. The next one is ready but I'll wait and see how this one goes.**


	2. Some pills and how many fights?

Piper ran desperately to the bathroom door and knocked it repeatedly. Shit.

Sure, Alex had done drugs before, but she had never stricken her as the kind of person who would ever overdose. But again, what she had been through today is what you can call an unusual event.

No answer. Piper didn't think twice and opened the door abruptly, only to find Alex lying unsconscious in the bathtub.

She immediately felt like crying an entire Seine river. But she had to hold her tears back.

"For fuck's sakes. You didn't do this". The blonde grabbed the brunette's arm, shaking it unstoppably. "Alex. Alex!". She could tell she was breathing and had a pulse, but did not seem to wake up.

Carefully, she tilted the brunette's head back to make sure she could breathe properly. Then she quickly opened the drain in the tub, letting the water free and ran to the intercom, her heart racing.

"Hi, I need an ambulance for room 308. My... friend is unconscious, I think she took some pills." Her voice was unsteady. "Yes, she has a pulse and she's breathing, but I can't seem to wake her up. Ok. Thank you"

She ran back to the bathroom to find Alex lying naked and unsconscious in the empty tub.

"What did you do, Alex... the fuck did you do" Piper asked while she leaned towards her, trying to get her to wake up. She shook her shoulders once again, screaming even louder. "Alex! ALEX!" she was screaming when she suddenly slapped her face. She realized desperation had gotten the best of her and pulled apart, running her hands through her hair.

But that seemed to finally make Alex come to her senses. Pulling her to see if she could make her sit down while she regained consciousness, Piper held a a tight grip to her hands.

"Alex, for God's sake. Are you okay? Breathe."

"I _am_ breathing. I was just sleeping. Not in an empty tub, that'd be weird" she said as she looked down.

"Weird? WEIRD? _Weird_ is me coming back to find you unconscious inside a bathtub, our sleeping pills gone. What were you thinking? Can you stand up by yourself?" Piper asked, handing her a robe and helping her sit on the toilet, her hands still shaking.

"I'm not sure." she replied, still feeling numb.

In that moment, paramedics quickly entered the room, to which Piper screamed "In the bathroom! She's awake now."

"Did you call a fucking ambulance? Girl, I was just sleeping. Maybe a little heavily, but that's what I meant to do. No big deal."

"No big-fucking-deal? You are INSANE. Really. You could have drowned. And that bottle, it was empty. Why on Earth did you decide that taking meds and falling asleep in a bathtub would be a good idea?"

"It was just some pills, calm the fuck down, Piper. I needed to relax. It's not the first time I fall asleep in a tub. I probably overslept because of the whisky."

"Ladies, please, this is not the time for arguments." One of the paramedics intervened, but they completely ignored him. When they fought like this, everything else was just background.

"Are you kidding me? You drank alcohol, too?" Piper couldn't believe her ears

"Piper, please, don't mommy me. Diane doesn't need a substitute on Earth. I knew what I was doing."

Paramedics proceeded to take Alex to the ambulance.

"Come on guys, that's not really necessary. I'm fine. I'm awake now. I'm talking."

"You said you have drugs on your stomach.", another paramedic pointed out.

"But that's certainly not a first."

Piper was not amused by Alex's jokes. As they entered the ambulance, with Alex laying on a stretcher, she just couldn't believe how unnapreciative her ex-girlfriend was for still being alive. For Piper coming back to find her. For how she went from frightened to relieved - and now mad at her for not handling the situation seriously - in just a matter of minutes. She would never be able to forget that scene and how she would have lived the rest of her life feeling responsible for such tragedy if it had been the case. She knew she left her – but she had always wished her well. Always. God only knows how much she still loved her.

How many fights have they had over drugs in the past couple of years? And ironically, the main reason their relationship had fallen apart had just brought them together once again.

"You look mad. Don't be mad. I scared the hell out of you, I know. Look at me, Pipes – I'm okay now. I was scared, too. I just wanted to doze out, not kill myself. It was just some pills; that bottle was almost empty anyway. I wouldn't overdose, babe, not in a million years. Trust me, if I were to do this, I would have done it a long time ago. This is just temporary pain, but I'll find the strength it takes to get over all this and just go on with my life. I'm sorry you had to see me like that, but I'm also glad you came back."

The brunette took the palm of Piper's hand, kissed it, and then squeezed it. "Thank you for being here."

Piper felt as if anything she could respond would be unfair to both of them. So, for now, she just nodded and gazed at Alex's lively emerald eyes, holding tight to her ex's grip and feeling thankful for her life.

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**So, this was the second chapter. I couldn't keep that cliffhanger going on for much longer, right? Piper freaked out for all the right reasons, but our girl Alex is a tough one. Chapter 3 is ready to be released in a few days. Still working on Chapter 4 but that one might take about 2 or 3 weeks to be posted because I'll be kind of busy. Thank you so much for your reviews! Please keep posting them and feel free to correct any mistakes. See you!**


	3. Escargots and Julia Roberts

At her hospital room, Alex woke up feeling lost – how much time had she been sleeping? She could tell by looking at the window that it was already dark outside. She turned around, scanning the room for Piper, who wasn't there, and neither was her purse. Only her own belongings were to be found on a bedside table.

She looked confused.

At the moment, the door was opened as the blonde let herself in, holding her laptop in her hands.

"What's up with that face? Did you think I would leave you alone just like that at a hospital room across the Atlantic?"

"Well, to be honest, it crossed my mind. Why not, right?"

"Jesus. I was just across the street at a coffee shop, not across the ocean. How are you feeling?" She asked, placing her laptop at a desk and sitting on a chair next to the brunette's bed.

"Better. Thank you for staying. Do you have any idea when they're going to release me? I feel fine, I could go to the hotel tonight."

"You're spending the night." Piper stated as Alex rolled her eyes in complaint. "The doctor told me he wants to keep you here for observation. He actually wanted to keep you for a few days because of your 'suicidal behavior'. He thought you attempted suicide but failed. I had to explain the whole situation and beg for you to be released tomorrow to be see a doctor back home. He said he wouldn't let you go if you were alone. Oh and you're going to have to see a psychologist first thing in the morning."

"Fuck that. I have a funeral across the ocean to plan."

"Yeah. So, about that, I called your aunt Lucy back in New Jersey."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I told her about what happened. She'll take care of everything until you get there and I also told her to call us if she needed anything."

"Wow. Thank you, Pipes. That means a lot. I hope she didn't get too worried, though."

"It's ok. I told her you were fine and promised that I'd take care of you."

"I won't complain if you do. But we still need to look for those tickets for tomorrow-"

"It's taken care of. We both leave at the Air France 3:15pm flight tomorrow. It was the best I could do."

"It's great. Thank you for taking care of me. Pipes, I swear, I was really mad at you, but I'm willing to leave all of this behind if you are too."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean... our fights. I want everything to work out this time for the two of us. And I promise we can make this work."

Piper was in complete silence, as she didn't know how to say it yet. Alex gazed at the blonde's heaven blue eyes... sensing a shade of guilt.

"Why are you so quiet? Wait," Alex was not stupid. She was putting the pieces together. "Isn't this why you came back to the hotel?"

"Al-"

"It isn't... is it? You didn't come back for me." Alex bit her lower lip, shedding a tear. She turned her head up to face the ceiling, took a long, deep breath and closed her eyes.

The look on Alex's face irradiated so much pain it was like a stab in Piper's heart. Seeing her like this automatically brought more tears to her eyes than she could control.

Alex turned her head back to her left to face the blonde.

"Shit, how could I have been so naive? Fuck me. Of course you didn't come back for _me_. You probably left something behind, like a fucking stupid piece of jewelry or something, right?"

"My mother's necklace is not stupid. It's... valuable. And it's hers. I couldn't just leave it there." That was all Piper managed to respond.

"Right. You know what, Piper? I'M valuable. I'm much more valuable than your mom's fucking necklace. Besides, I'm a fucking human being with feelings."

"I know. I know you are. But that does not change things. We had broken up, Alex. We are not magically back together now. We still have different priorities. I'm here for you as a friend. And I'm so, _so_ sorry I hadn't stayed before. After what happened earlier, I had the chance to realize how much of an asshole I had been to you. And I'm trying really hard to make it up to you now, because I know you need a friend. I _know_ you need me."

She finally turned her head back to her left to face the blonde.

"I don't need you. Not like this. Not out of pity." She shook her head, looking down.

"No, I really want to stay. Seriously. Alex, I _love_ you. Right now I wish I didn't, but I do. I care about you. I wanna stay by your side through all this." She said, reaching for the brunette's hand. "Please forgive me for walking out on you like that. I shouldn't have." Piper knew she had to open a hundred percent of her heart if she expected Alex to ever forgive her, so she did. She already knew she was the strongest one in that room at that moment. She had to show her vulnerable, weak side to Alex by taking one step down. And she meant every single word.

Alex shook a little at the sound of a declaration she thought she'd never hear again. She sensed honesty, but she was still too upset for forgiveness. For now, she didn't have any more strength to fight, so she decided to just leave it like that. She could use a friend, after all.

"Are you going to sleep at the hotel?" she asked coyly, changing the subject.

"No." Piper answered, putting on a serious face, but already feeling a little lighter. "I'm staying here with you." She nodded in reassurance.

"No, you don't have to, Piper. That couch doesn't look very comfortable."

"Nah, it actually kind of is... I took a quick nap here earlier today, we're like best friends already!" She said, nervously tapping on the couch arm.

"Weirdo. I can see you have a pillow already."

"See? And it's goose feather, my favorite!" she said, caressing the pillow. "I'm all set. Don't you worry."

Alex laughed at her attempt to cheer her up. "God, I hate those. They give me agony."

A nurse knocked on the door then let herself in, announcing it was time for Alex's dinner.

"Hmm. Hospital food!" she looked at her plate and then back to the nurse, asking "This is dull. Can I get _escargots _instead?"

The nurse side-eyed her, clearly not amused.

"_Pardon_, my friend here isn't very _polie._" Piper said.

"I was just kidding. _Merci_!" Alex added.

The nurse shook her head in disapproval and left.

"Do you need help?"

"For what? To eat? No, and I hope not for the next sixty years at least. Thank you." She responded, making a face at the taste of the mashed potatoes. "This shit tastes as bad as it looks. But I'll give them some credit. France has slightly better hospital food than America. Though that was the least I expected."

"I can't be that bad."

"Taste this."

"Ugh. It tastes like nothing at all."

"Exactly. What's the fucking point?"

They realized they were both sharing a laugh and it felt so good.

"Have you eaten at all?"

"Yeah. At the coffee shop. Seriously, don't worry about me. You're the sick child."

"Ha-ha. You know, I don't think I've ever even allowed myself to feel sick. My mom always multiple jobs and after that I had to rely on myself to provide for the both of us." She felt a hole in her heart by pronouncing the words 'mom' and 'us', as she realized none of those existed any longer. But she was trying her best to block it. And somehow being so far away made it less hard, like it hasn't really happened. And somehow Piper managed to distracted her in more ways than one.

"It wasn't always rainbows and butterflies for you, was it?" Piper felt like pulling her in an embrace and telling her that everything was gonna be ok, but was it? She had her doubts when it came to Alex's lifestyle.

"I told you, if there was anything else I could do to finally provide a fairly decent life for me and my mom other than what I do, I would have done it. I would. But we were so fucking broke. I told myself it'd be temporary, but things got serious and I would never earn this much money doing anything else. I'm not qualified, Piper. Damn, I don't wanna talk about my mom. I'm expecting another waterfall of tears any time soon. But it doesn't feel too real just yet, you know? Am I a bad person?"

"No, of course not. That's just your way of dealing with your emotions right now." Piper rubbed Alex's arm. "So let's just not talk about her right now, ok? Plus, we've had too many fights over this, and you should rest. Hey, I have _Notting Hill_ on my laptop, do you wanna watch it when you're finished?"

"No. No fucking way. Okay, Julia Roberts is hot, but we always watch it! Can't we watch _Pretty Woman_ instead? Because I'm kind of craving _escargots_ now."

"Well, it's not like you have anywhere else to go, so... it was actually more like a retorical question. And _escargots_ are disgusting."

"Oh God. Alright, then, I guess. Let's just watch her question again what's so interesting about breasts. I mean, really? Come on, girl."

"What's with you and that scene?" Piper asked between laughs. "Geez. She's a straight girl, she doesn't get it. Let Anna Scott question."

"I'm gonna rewrite that scene and have them update that movie. _À la_ Alex Vause."

They both shared a laugh again while Piper sat in the chair, covering herself a blanket. Alex couldn't help gazing at her beautiful blonde companion as they heard the song for opening credits, with so many lyrics that described her so well...

_She may be the reason I survive_

_The why and wherefore I'm alive_

_The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years_

_Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears_

_And make them all my souvenirs_

_For where she goes I've got to be  
The meaning of my life is_

She

. That was the moment when Alex decided she was not ready to give up on them, nor would she give Piper any more reasons to do that.  
Alex loved her more than her mistakes. And she loved her for being truly sorry. She loved her, period. Flaws and all. She couldn't put her life in danger anymore.  
Deep inside, she knew she'd _have_ to find a way.

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**Hi, everyone. So, this chapter was a bit longer than the other and filled with all kinds of feelings. For the time being, I thought it was really important for Piper to realize "what a horse's ass" she'd been and feel truly guilty and sorry for it, and open up to Alex. Which is totally different from getting back together. We'll see what happens next. Thank you for your reviews, keep posting them and do not hesitate to correct any mistakes! I'm trying to add more details to dialogues and descriptions, too. Next chapter will be ready in a couple of weeks. See you then!**

**PS: In case you don't know, the lyrics belong to the song _She_ by Elvis Costello.**


	4. Macarons and a teddy bear

When Alex woke up in the following morning, she rubbed her eyes and searched for her glasses on her bedside table. Once she found them, she glanced at the clock to find out it was almost 8am.

Not to her surprise, Piper was once again nowhere to be found and neither were her belongings. But she did not worry about it this time. She was probably having breakfast at a coffee shop, or at their hotel. She didn't really know if the blonde ended up sleeping at the hospital – last thing she remembered was watching the brownie contest scene from Notting Hill for the bazillionth time. She probably fell asleep right then. Not that anyone could blame her – she had had what seemed to be the longest day ever.

She reached for her phone and typed a text to her ex, just in case:

"Where r u?"

As she placed it back on the table, she realized it was now 8 o'clock. Then someone knocked at the door.

"Come in." Alex responded, trying to curb a yawn.

A short, white dressed middle-aged platinum blonde woman let herself in, holding a clipboard against her chest, followed by a young red-headed guy who was probably not more than twenty years old and brought Alex's breakfast.

"Bonjour. And merci." Alex said, looking at the two figures standing right in front of her.

The guy smiled and nodded at her, and then at the other woman, and left the room.

"_Bonjour_, Mademoiselle Vause. I'm Dr. Louise Thibault. I'm a psychologist. How are you feeling today?" The woman spoke with a strong French accent.

"Oh. I'm fine, thank you for asking." Alex tried her best to flash a convincing smile at her, but mentally rolling her eyes at the annoying remembrance that she'd have to see a psychologist before she left the hospital.

"You're welcome. So, I have your file here and I thought maybe we could talk about the events that led to your admittance here, while you enjoy your last _café au lait avec croissants_ in France. Would you be okay with that?"

"Yeah. Sure." Since the doctor was being so nice to her, she couldn't think of any other answer.

Then Alex's phone suddenly buzzed – twice – on her bedside table.

"Could you just give me a minute?" Alex asked the doctor, while reaching for her phone.

"Oh _oui_, _oui_. Please take your time." Dr. Thibault answered, taking a seat at the chair next to Alex's bed, adjusting her glasses and going through her notes.

It was a text from Piper – actually, two of them, the first one being:

"I left because I realized I couldn't be friends with a person who falls asleep before the scene Anna and William break into the garden. Whoopsidaisies."

Followed by:

"Just kidding. I'm having my last parisian breakfast at the coffee shop across the street. I'm also buying _macarons_ to go. You're welcome."

Alex grinned at those words and typed back:

"Funny. Thank you. Don't take too long. x" She thought maybe Piper's arrival would shorten her conversation with Dr. Thiebault, and she'd appreciate that. "Sorry about that." she said, putting her phone away and glancing at the doctor."

"Not a problem. So, Mlle. Vause, this won't take much of your time. I just want to ask you a few questions to get to know you better and try to get closer to the heart of the matter here."

"Actually, I don't think you have to dig in that much to find it." Alex aswered, lifting her head and mantaining eye contact with Dr. Thiebault. "My mom died and my girlfriend of two years broke up with me yesterday. In one afternoon, I had managed to lose the only two people who mattered to me the most. I was all alone and scared, but I didn't wanna die, I just wanted to sleep for a while, but I ended up sleeping too heavily because I combined some pills with a glass of whisky. There you go."

"Okay, Mlle. Vause. But let's rewind your story a little, okay? Let me ask you this: how close were you to your mother?"

"Very close. My father left us for his rock band and it was just the two of us for my entire life. We were poor and she used to take as many shifts of work as she could to provide for me, and when I grew up it was the other way around. We always looked after each other, and even when I was out of town I used to call her every day and tell her everything." Alex said, slowly chewing on her _croissant_. "We looked alike. We had similar personalities. She always she saw her younger self in me. We had normal mother-daughter fights about... stuff. My girlfriends, my jobs. But other than that, we got along along perfectly. She was my hero and all I wanted to do for my entire life was to be half the fighter she was."

"I'm really sorry about your loss, Mlle. Vause." The doctor said, taking quick pause. "Now, was she ok with your sexuality?"

"Totally. She always knew. She was the one person I'd tell about my teenage crushes, and she'd give me advice and made sure I knew that I was no different from anyone else, and that everything I was feeling was normal."

"Okay. She sounds like a great mom, indeed. But why would you sometimes fight about your girlfriends?"

Well, she's seen the world as it is, you know? She knew better. She just wanted to make sure I was happy and hanging out with good people. It was not a gender-related issue."

"Alright, then. What about your jobs? Why did she have issues with them."

"Oh, you know, she always wanted to keep working so I could go to community college, get an internship and this kind of stuff. But I always knew college wouldn't be for me. I started working from 9 to 5 as soon as I graduated from high school and it was all I worried about at the moment. All the time. Making money to provide for us. I'm a practical person and I was sure that was the right route for me."

"I see. And did you succeed? Or do you regret it?"  
Dangerous ground here. Stepping on eggshells.

"I like to think that I did. I got involved in a business back in America and I was able to save some money. No, I don't regret it. It felt like it was the right thing to do and it brought me to where I am now, so I'm ok." Well, she couldn't speak the entire truth.

"Okay, what kind of business did you get involved with?"

"Import/export." Alex muttered glancing away, and then took a sip of her _café au lait_.

"I see. Now back to your upbringing: did you get to meet your father at some point of your life?"

"Unfortunately, yes. But only to find out he was even worse than I expected. He used drugs, made sexual jokes and his band was a piece of crap. I looked for him, but I wish I never did. I'm glad he didn't raise me. He clearly wasn't meant to father a child. I don't miss him, I was used to only being with my mom. And he didn't miss me or tried to bond with me either, so we never spoke again and I'm ok with it."

"Okay. I hear you have relatives in New Jersey? Is that right?"

"Yes. An aunt. Cousins. We don't see each other all the time, but we get along well."

"I'm glad to hear that, Mlle. Vause. It's important to bond with your family, specially in times like these. Do you have friends back in New York?"

"Yeah, I do now. Not many. I have two or three of them. But it's much more than I had as child, for my schoolmates used to bully me because I was poor. I used to be upset about it at first, but then I just started ignoring them. They didn't matter."

"Alright. I'm glad you got through it all and became strong and independent. Good for you. Now, about your relationship with your ex-partner. She's the one who's been keeping you company here, right?"

"That's right. Her name's Piper Chapman." Alex glanced at the clock. It was already 8:45am. Did Piper drown in her cup of coffee or something?"

"How's Mlle. Chapman like? And how did you two meet?"

"Well, she's the classic good-girl stereotype. Straight-A student for her entire life. Upper mid-class family from Connecticut that moved to New York City. We met around two years ago at a bar in Northampton, Massachussetts, when we both lived there. She had just graduated with honors from a local college. I was attracted to her as soon as I laid eyes on her walking inside. So I approached her, paid her a drink and we hit it off straightaway."

Alex reached for her wallet inside her purse on her bedside table, opened it and showed a picture of the duo to Dr. Thiebault.

"What a lovely photo, Mlle. Vause. You girls look very much in love.", the doctor said, holding it herself.

Alex nodded and smiled, admiring the picture they took in Cambodia a few months ago.

"How were you when you two met? Had you been single for a while?" Dr. Thiebault asked, handing the picture to Alex.

"Hmm, no, not really. I actually had a girlfriend. She was out of town for some time. It was complicated. I didn't love her, was planning to dump her, but she was clingy and jealous. And then Piper showed up and I just couldn't resist whatever she made me feel. I had never been that attracted to anyone before. Things got nasty when I took Piper home one day and Sylvie, the girlfriend, showed up unnanounced back from her trip and punched her on the face. Then I was sure I would never see her again. She was physically assaulted by my girlfriend which she didn't even know existed."

"Wow. What happened then?" Dr. Thiebault asked while leaning forward, looking genuinely curious.

"Well, I apologized to Sylvie and didn't hear from Piper in the following days. I had no hopes of ever seeing her again, and I didn't even know how I'd be able to look at her in the face if I ever did. Then I went to this pub where a friend of mine would take part in a Burlesque show. It was just me, because Sylvie had a night shift that day. And then I was surprised to meet her again there. And even more surprised that she approached me, and said she was interested in me. I mean, what was I supposed to do? It was a mutual feeling. I'd missed her. We got together again that night and I decided to leave Sylvie for her. She did not react well. But after a few months tormenting us she eventually gave up trying to. Piper and I always had a strong connection. It wasn't going to go away."

"Alright. What about now? Do you still love each other?"

"Yeah... we do. But it just wasn't working."

"Why not? Can you talk about the events that led to her leaving you? Was that a big fight you girls had yesterday?"

Actually, Alex thought, I can't tell you. "Uhmm. Yeah, it was kind of a big fight. It was about a number of things I do which Piper isn't a fan of."

"What kind of things, if I may ask?"

"Hmm, risky stuff. And she always tells me to stop doing them, but I'm too stubborn to stop. And I also enjoying doing them."

"Like driving in high speed, you'd say?"

"Yes! Exactly. Like driving in high speed. I'd say I've been pretty reckless with my life. And hers, too. And she's fed up with it. For all the right reasons, I'll admit it."

"Hmm. See, Mlle. Vause, the thing about riding a car in high speed while you're with someone else is that it's not just dangerous for you. It's dangerous for both of you. And she probably warned you several times to change the pace and you didn't, and now she's tired and sick of the ride. It's not safe for her. And she knows it's not safe for you, either. The root of your fight is that she may not have cared about it at the beginning – and maybe even enjoyed it for a while – but she probably realized she loves herself enough not to risk her life anymore. And she probably wants you to realize that you have been selfish to put her life in danger, but she's also concerned about _your _safety. Otherwise she wouldn't have put up with those things for so long. She wouldn't have asked you several times to stop. Mlle. Vause, she was scared this car would crash at some point. And you can't blame her. There's a high chance it will. But you wouldn't listen to her, so she had to make a move and pull up the car for a while so she could get out. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't watch you put both your lives at risk. And as you said yourself, she had all the right reasons. Is that accurate? Is that what's been going on between the two of you?"

"Yes." Alex was mind-blown at how the doctor's analogy described the situation perfectly. "That's exactly what's been going on."

"Mlle. Vause, I'm not here to point out mistakes. I'm not an entity, I'm a psychologist. I'm a human being, just like you. But I've taken many cases like yours in my career. I'm here to hear your story, break it up in pieces and build it back together again in a way to make you realize what's not fitting. You're grieving your mother's death and that's absolutely normal. You girlfriend left you in the moment you needed her the most and you were upset about it and that's also completely normal. But she's back now. Has she apologized to you?"

"Yes, she has."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Better. Lighter. I'm glad she's with me now. But I can't stand the fact that she's not my girlfriend anymore."

"But you know the reasons why she left you. She thinks you're wrong and you agree with her. So you know what's not fitting. You've just got to find the strength in you to change that. Mlle. Chapman has pulled up your car. It's time for you to decide if you'd rather start it again, alone, and drive in high speed again or leave the car, promise her you'll change the pace and ask her to come along for the ride again. Remember: this road you're in – it's your life. It's up to you to decide how you're driving and who's worth joining you in this road trip."

"I know." A teary-eyed Alex looked up to the doctor. "Thank you for everything. I guess I really needed someone to make me think about my actions."

"You're very welcome, Mlle. Vause. You have that strength in you. Strength and Independence are traits of your personality. You're just very vulnerable right now, so don't be so hard to yourself. Let your guard down for once. Let yourself be taken care of."

Suddenly the door was opened and a young woman's joyful voice filled the room:

"Sorry it took me so long – I bought something else for you other than the _macarons_!" Piper said as she closed the door behind her, to find the two other women staring at her. "Oh, shoot. Sorry to interrupt. Are you the psychologist? Hi. I'm just gonna wait at the hallway-"

"No, there's absolutely no reason to. We were just wrapping up. Piper Chapman, is it?" the doctor asked, standing up and offering her right hand. "I'm doctor Louise Thibault. It's nice to meet you."

"You too." Piper answered, shaking her hand.

"Now Mlle. Vause, it's been a pleasure to meet you and talk to you, too. Here's a prescription for some anxiety pills. I thought they might come in handy for the time being. Take _one_ of them at night if you have trouble falling asleep, and/or _one_ of them during the day when you feel it's hard to keep up with your daily activities. It'll help you relax and concentrate. You can take some free samples in the pharmacy on your way out. I'd also strongly recommend that you see a psychologist on a regular basis once you're back in New York." Dr. Thibault picked up two cards inside her coat pocket and handed them along with the prescription paper to Alex. "Dr. Jenkins is a personal friend of mine who I met at a seminar in New York City. He owns a private clinic there. I can phone him and talk to him about your case if you want me too. If you check out the other card, there's my contact information. You just let me know. Well, once again, my condolonces for your mother. I wish you both safe travels and all the best. Dr. Lefevre will be here to discharge you in a few minutes."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Thibault. Have a nice day." Alex smiled at her.

"Thank you, doctor. All the best." Piper nodded to her once, still holding Alex's present against her chest.

The doctor nodded back and let herself out, closing the door behind her.

"She seemed nice." Piper said. "Did you have a nice talk?"

"Yeah, we did. So, you bought me something. What is it?"

"Well, see for yourself." Piper answered, handing it to her.

Alex opened it up to find a teddy bear. There was something written in its heart-shaped belly:

_We'll Always Have Paris_

_Casablanca_ was one of Alex and Piper's favorite movies of all times and the first they ever watched together, cuddling on the couch in Alex's house. Since then, they always talked about going to Paris together.

"Oh my God, Piper... this is so precious. Where did you find it?"

"In a gift store nearby. I swear to God, Alex, I just had to buy it. I mean, it's so..."

"It's special, Piper. I know. Come here." The brunette said, as they both leaned forward for an embrace.

Piper shivered a little as she remembered the sequence to that line: "(...) _But I've got a job to do too and where I'll go you can't follow. What I've got to do you can't be any part of..._" She never thought those words would ever represent their current situation so well.

"I know things turned out differently from what we were expecting for this trip. But we also lived some great moments here before. This is where we always wanted to be together. And then bad things happened..." Piper shed a tear as she breathed into Alex's hair. "But I want the good memories to live. And I want you to think of all the shit that happened as doors to new beginnings. Possibilities. And that we'll always have them."

"So we'll always have Paris. We'll always have the good moments and new possibilities."

"Exactly."

"Thank you, Pipes. And I think you're right." She smiled at the blonde, feeling emotional.

Someone knocked at the door and let themselves in:

"_Bonjour_, Mlle. Chapman, Mlle. Vause. You look good today. Are you feeling alright?"

"Good morning, Dr. Lefevre. Yes, I feel fine, thank you."

The doctor examined her quickly to make sure she was ready for her discharge, gave them a few recommendations and bid farewell. Once free to go, Alex and Piper stopped by the pharmacy to pick the brunette's pills and then took a cab to their hotel.

88888

**Okay, guys! This was a long chapter. And it was fun to write. So, I wanted Alex to open up about her background story a little and get some professional advice she could use. Next stop for our girls: Charles de Gaulle Airport! Also, a new character wil be introduced in Chapter 5: her name might be Molly. Or Holly. Whatever. Thank you so much for reviewing my work and see you then!**

**PS.: The garden scene and the expression "whoopsidaisies" are references to the movie ****_Notting Hill_****.**

**PS2.: For those who are not familiar, the movie lines I referred to above are spoken by Humphrey Bogart's character in ****_Casablanca_****.**


	5. Not a new chapter

Sorry, you guys. I felt like I owed an explanation to those who follow my story.

Well, college and work happened and some other bad stuff too, so it has been hard to focus on here but I'm back to writing and hope to give you guys an update some time soon.

Just bear with me on this one. I still have great plans for this story.

Thank you so much for your support :)


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